I've Got Jokes

What did the pastor and the congregation have in common in October? No one wanted to attend worship.

For local churches that work on a January to December fiscal year, October is a common time for Stewardship Campaigns. The pastor and a team of people pour over the financial reports. What was pledged and given for the current year? What were the differences of income and expenses in comparison with the current year’s budget? What do the rough numbers for the next year’s budget look like? Then, they draft a finely word-smithed letter for each family, a pledge card graphic is created and printed, and the US Postal Service receives an influx of paperwork sent to each member, constituent, and regular visitor of the local church.

Upon arrival of the annual letter and pledge card, families gather for a serious family meeting. What will we do for the next three to six weeks on Sunday mornings: leaf peeking or brunch? Both!

Attendance drops as the pastor and Stewardship Team desperately try to make finances a compelling part of worship, and the congregation is left counting the Sundays until the themes return to something less dry and less uncomfortable.

There’s another joke. A pastor noticed one of his parishioners, a farmer, hadn’t attended worship for a few weeks, so he drove out to the parishioner’s farm. When the pastor got there, she explained to the farmer that they had missed him during the stewardship sermon series. The farmer insisted to his pastor, if he had 10 cows he would definitely tithe one of them to the church…but he didn’t have any cows. The pastor assured him that she believed him. The farmer, not understanding one could protest too much, continued, “Pastor, if I had 20 pigs, I assure you I would tithe two of them to the church.” The pastor nodded and said she understood. As the farmer started a third time, the pastor interrupted, “Joe, I appreciate your willingness to pledge the livestock you don’t have, but what about those 50 sheep over there?”

I want to let you know three things as we head into our new sermon series, Imagining Abundance. One, these season of stewardship will most likely be different from any other you’ve experienced. I would encourage you to come wrestle with your faith, your consumerism, and your call to care for the widows and the orphans. Two, when you analyze the words of Jesus in the four gospels, you’ll find Jesus talked about money more than any other single issue, 25% in fact! I can assure you of two things. This sermon series will not be the last time we talk about money, and even if I tried, I bet 25% of my sermons won’t be about money. I’ll let Jesus win that competition. Finally, the work of the church cannot be done without the support of the people who experience God in and through their relationships with the church - the community, the parishioners, the staff, and, G— forbid, even the pastor. If you have experienced God through your relationships, through the generosity of this faith community, through a ministry or worship experience, I would encourage you, as I do every week, to reflect and respond to God’s presence in your life through this faith community. The 2020 budget will be crafted based on the pledge cards of the community members; the strength and accuracy of the budget will depend on the commitment of the whole community.

Finally, with regard to finances (which I believe to be something different than a conversation about stewardship, pledges, and tithing), we are moving towards a system of increased transparency and accountability. The finances have been assessed by an outside consultant, and we are working to understand the current financial state of affairs so we can concisely communicate where we are and where we are headed. However, administrative work tends to be slow going, and we do not have a full picture to paint for you just yet. If you have specific questions about the fiscal health of LUMC, please reply to this email with them. If possible, I will try to address them during the next five weeks without making the whole service about finances. We want to clear up where there is confusion or misinformation as best as possible.

If you’ve made it this far, you deserve a final joke.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? ‘ell if I know.

Please join us for this journey for the next five weeks. We will dig into what it means to be a faith community today. Additionally, on October 27th during the Education Hour we will explore how the UMC got to the drama of General Conference 2016 and 2019. On November 3rd we will honor the saints who have passed in the past year. And, on November 10th you and your family will be invited to make a pledge to the next year of ministry for Louisville UMC as a sort of “harvest Sunday.”

Peace and love to you and yours,

Rev Elizabeth M Jackson